Hold to YOUR course

Mark 6:45-52 (NKJV)
45 Immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while He sent the multitude away.
46 And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.
47 Now when evening came, the boat was in the middle of the sea; and He was alone on the land.
48 Then He saw them straining at rowing, for the wind was against them. Now about the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea, and would have passed them by.
49 And when they saw Him walking on the sea, they supposed it was a ghost, and cried out;
50 for they all saw Him and were troubled. But immediately He talked with them and said to them, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."
51 Then He went up into the boat to them, and the wind ceased. And they were greatly amazed in themselves beyond measure, and marveled.
52 For they had not understood about the loaves, because their heart was hardened.

46 And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.

What did Jesus have to pray about? He'd healed the sick, spoken of the new gospel to the people that sought him, fed the crowd, sent the disciples safely away and finally got some time to himself.

I would have collapsed in a heap and wanted a hot cuppa tea. He wanted to commune with God.

The day wasn't over yet and I think he knew it. He still had to walk out over the sea and meet the boat, calm the storm and lift Peter out of the waves.

If I knew I had all that to do after all I had done my prayer might have been, "Father - don't you realize how much you are cramming into a day for me here? I'm TIRED! How am I supposed to get the rest of this done? I'm beat now. They don't even see what is right in front of them. You just fed 5000 people and they don't even see that as a miracle so WHY did you have me even try? Wasn't it a wasted effort? And now you want me to walk on water. Do you remember I'm from the desert? Sand, wind - those I know. Walk on WATER? What is the POINT!"

Now I'm betting that, with his deeper understanding, that isn't what Jesus prayed. But how often would we have seen the whole event of feeding 5000 as wasted because no one saw the miracle in it but us? Walking on water? Who cared? It just scared his friends. Pulling Peter out? What for? How come Peter had to lose faith? Hadn't he showed them ENOUGH miracles yet? Didn't they understand he was God's son and could do anything he needed to, including allowing another to walk on water?

He still has to keep showing us, everyday, that he is real. We can't seem to remember the healings, the rescues, the "just exactly what I needed" events from yesterday. I feel better knowing the disciples couldn't remember, either.

And the poor disciples are out there rowing a boat in a storm! Why? Because that's what Jesus asked them to do. He was the one everyone wanted to see. What was the point in them going to the next place without him. Why would they struggle to keep the boat afloat and on course? No one is going to know how hard it was. Why didn't they just give up and drift?

He gave them a direction and they were trying to do what he asked of them. Was it easy? Did it seem to have an important purpose? Aside from keeping themselves alive in the storm there was no reason to aim where he told them to. There was a storm. Anyone would understand if they just put into land anywhere for safe harbor in a storm....

But they didn't. They kept rowing even though the wind was against them. Even though no one would know what they did and even though it looked like they might die in the attempt and even though they may have felt stupid for staying out in a storm. They kept rowing.

I'm glad to know they preservered. When I seem to be "going against the grain" of the world or people around me, but I know it's where I have been directed, I can hold my course sure. I wait for the voice that will come out of the dark - "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."

He's here. Every minute, every trial, every seemingly pointless effort, is guarded by him. That's the comfort of the story for me - no matter what, do not be afraid. He's got me covered.

Ten percent?

Mt 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Is our "tithe" limited to the physical things we have? Things; money, homes, food, possessions. They have value and to share them is not just "good" but love being showed.

This verse seems to say that to show the love that has been given to us that we should tithe of our "things" AND our hearts. When I am angry if I could think to "tithe" forgiveness wouldn't I then give up the anger at another and isn't that a tithe of love?

When someone wrongs me and I can think to tithe "mercy", that I have been given in such abundance, wouldn't I give up the hurt and make peace?

I had already come to the conclusion that we should tithe of our talents as well as our resources. Tithing time, transportation, skills - I understood that. But tithing of our feelings and judgements - that's a new thought.

Many times I have thought the truth of my feelings was trash I was handing to the Divine Loving Being - but he sees the truth as beautiful, whatever it is in my judgement. If I could be willing to give up a tithe, say ten percent, of my hurt, anger and frustrations with life, wouldn't it be improving my life?

And if he returns what you tithe to him ten fold then wouldn't I have more ability to forgive, offer mercy, pass on kindness, not hurts?

I don't know. When I don't know I say, "There's two ways to find out; Ask someone who knows or try it and see." I'm guessing on this one I'll be trying it to see.

I'll tithe of my feelings. If I am angry I will reach for forgiveness to give instead of more hurt to another. If I am sad I will reach for a small part of joy to share - not sadness. I will give up the self pity for a bit of thankfulness and share that with others. Then I will see what happens next.

I know I haven't said this well. The words are deceptive. I have tithed of my income and my possesions. Now I'm going to add to it. I will tithe of kindness, forgiveness and mercy instead of passing on anger, pain and sadness. It makes sense to me. It's the way I see it today.