I have come to believe that our words have a power of their own that we may not understand. The words we say express our feelings, thoughts and intentions or describe what we have done, our actions. They also record our reactions to life and let us share them with others.
I am learning to watch my words. Not that I may have to eat them, but that they may bring to life something that should not have been given birth. Once a word had been said it can not be called back, only expanded on to try and explain.
I had some casual, humor type words with a friend that turned to words of hurt. I was laughing at something they said then I said, "Sometimes I want to smack you!". When they asked why I popped out, "Sometimes I think you just need smacking."
These are words of my younger times. They were said by me and my sisters and parents and came our from a pre-recorded file in my head. We us them when we what we mean is - "I don't think you understand what I am saying and you should pay attention".
They come from the story of the mule and the farmer. A neighbor watched as the farmer walked up and smacked the mule in the head with a board. The mule shook his head a few times but didn't seem to be hurt. The farmer walked behind the plow and said giddy up. The mule started right off, heading for the fields. The neighbor asked why he did that and the farmer said, He is a good mule but you have to get his attention first.
That is a lot of words to explain that maybe they heard I wanted to hit them and what I meant was I don't think you understand what I said, please pay attention. It also says I think we had a communication break down.
I was spouting words carelessly, expecting them to understand what I meant and they heard something altogether different.
I can't seem to remember the power of words. Caring is using them carefully and gently.
Where do all our words go? Written or spoken, even in private and alone, one day they will be found or heard somewhere. Maybe by someone we don't even know.
I wrote and spoke of the pot shards I called water flow control devices that were judged by me, at first, as trash and a mess I needed to clean up.
Looking at the situation and the broken pot an experienced gardner might have seen their use before I did. They might have done it before. I had to figure it out myself and see it. I had no one to discuss it with that knew about potting plants.
A simple fix seemed important to me because of the way I saw it two ways even though I was by myself here.
I found another blogger who sees broken things as something other than trash. I wanted to share this photo of what she does with broken ceramics. It's another way to see what was, to someone, just a mess to clean up.
If two people look at the same thing and one says first, "That is ugly!" does the second person then see it as ugly? If so, they agree and go on their way.If the other decides differently - they say, "I don't think so, it's just strange." Does it modifiy the first speaker's judgement? Do they see it differently now those words brought this view to them?
The first can say, "You might be right but it looks ugly to me," or "I hadn't thought of that, maybe it is just I have never seen one before."
That is the power of words between us. They can change the way we see things.
If I go cursing and angry at others and events in my life I am giving birth to negative feelings that I can not stop. They are in the world and can hurt someone even if I never said them directly to that person.
I think the words I was less than careful with have hurt my friend and I am sorry. I could have said them differently and now I wish I had. I was trying to explain how treating yourself less than precious hurts others who care about you.
When I thought they didn't understand my meaning I dropped back to words I would have used to my sis- my family - because I feel like they are family to me.
We do not have the history of those shared jokes and words between us. They only thought I meant they needed to be hit, not understanding the meaning underneath.
I only wanted them to try harder to hear what I was saying. I didn't really want to hit them. I hate hurting anyone or anything. But I used the wrong words to say it.
The sis said once she was having a fit of road rage when she thought, what if that person heard me and then we met at my church? What testimony is that for love and peace in my heart and the world?
"I remember you, I made a mistake in traffic yesterday and you cussed me out like a sailor.Glad to meet you. I don't think I want to join a church where you go. It is not the way I want to be treated." Yup, that would be a good one.
She started watching her words before I did because she was showed the power in her words, and the intentions behind them, could affect another wrongly.
If I say words, even in my home all alone, the power is not gone from them. I have given life to those thoughts and intentions in myself. I brought what I was only thinking of to be real in this world now.
I don't want to be ranting and raving in anger and hurt at something because I am reinforcing those feelings in me. I am trying to learn to take those thoughts only to Him because He can turn them for me to a loving way to see the situation and the bad feelings go right out of me.
I have to see them first and know I have them before I can give them to Him. I don't have to say or act on them. I don't have to give them life here of their own to hurt others with or myself be hurt by them.
So I try to consider my words. I can comfort myself with the thought that I am what He has made of me but I remember that I picked part of what I am myself when I chose what I wanted to do in life. I am what I made me, too.
What part of me is just speaking words as they come out and what part of me prays to HIm first?
What I have learned in the world comes flying out of me because I know the ways of the world and those in it that have interacted with me.
What I am learning of Him and how life should be here for everyone is the part that reaches to Him in every little thing. That would be the new me; the one that flinches when people curse now. Not because I am offended but because I know that another negative word has been born in them and in the world.
It seems that there are times when even I think a curse would be a relief. It's hard, when you hit your thumb with a hammer, to see any way to say, "Bless it!" and really mean it. We mean, "Damn it!" Damn the hammer and the nail and my clumbsy way of using them and Damn it that it was broken and I had to try and fix it and Damn it all to Hell! We hurt.
But when something like that happens to you and you watch inside yourself you will see that if you try to say "Bless it!", even when you want to say the other, that your mind takes a different path. Your intention is modified by using a different word.
Even said in a negative way your mind turns it to a positive meaning. For me it came something like this in my head. "Bless my thumb, it's going to need healing. Bless the hammer so it goes where I aim. Bless the nail so it will drive straight. Bless the mending of this broken thing for my family and help me get it done so I can do something more fun with my time."
It's just a little twist in your thoughts and I don't know how it may seem to you. But if you would try it for a few days, using any thing with a positive meaning to you in place of my "Bless it", I think you might see what I mean.
I do not like to curse if I can stop in time and I do not like to put words to my thoughts of others with anyone but the one I would speak of now. I still do speak what I am calling, "out of place" but I am seeing it when I do it and now I am trying to stop. I don't like it in myself.
I don't like sending out anything that is not what I really mean and if it is something I really mean the place to give it is to the one I am thinking of, not another here with me. I want the communication clear between us without the muddle of someone trying to repeat something I said and getting it wrong by the way they thought I meant it.
The thoughts and intentions inside us are shared by the words and the actions between us. I am trying to learn to make my words and actions be shaped by kind and loving thoughts because that is what I want to put into the world, loving kindness.
It isn't always going to happen. I speak to warn of danger from others that I have seen hurt people or I speak to share my care for others to those I feel love them, too and may be able to help them. I am going to try to take all of that to the one that can really do it.
I think it will make it hard to have a conversation for awhile. I find my mouth stopping sometimes because I don't want to let out what I thought. I get weird pauses and fumble for the right words. Still, as hard as it is I want to try it. I think words have too much power to just use them to make noise.
It's like having a flame thrower in the pine trees to light a cooking fire with when you send out negative or hurtful words, they take off and burn down the whole forest and all you meant to do was get the feelings out of your system.
If I need to take a dump I go to the bathroom. If I need to get things that are negative in my opinion and judgement out of me I am seeing to take them to Him first. He can change them for me to see them in the light of His love and nobody gets hurt by them.
One thought of what this might do is leave me talking to someone about them and their life instead of talking with them about others we know. I can't see anything wrong with that.
If I pray before I speak anything that resembles judgement of what they tell me and only say encouraging and hopeful words we might have quite a conversation and I will grow to understand them better. Isn't that what spending time with someone we love is supposed to be?
I'm working on it. It's not easy.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment