Love does NOT hurt.

All the songs and poems moaning the pains of love and I bought it. Love hurts. We teach it to each other all our lives and the older we get the more shy many are of caring again. They can't take the pain, the hurt to their heart will be too much to bear, they say.

They are wrong.

Loving does not hurt.

Repeating: Love does NOT hurt.

It won't hurt your heart - ever - to love.

What hurts is having to stop loving.
What hurts is when you can't love anymore.
What hurts is when one you love is gone, or doesn't love you anymore.

Stopping love hurts.

Loving doesn't.

I have hurt from being left, having someone die, dogs getting run over, cats the same, kids moving away, and more. I have hurt in love before. But it is NOT the love that hurt. It's trying to let go of the love that hurts.

I don't know how to tell you how that thought - love does not hurt - spun my head. I am stunned by how backwards we got it. Love does not hurt.

Don't stop loving; Stopping the love hurts.

I AM

I am thy shield
I am the LORD
I am the Almighty God
I am waxed old
I am a stranger
I am the daughter
I am the the son
I am Abraham's servant
I am faint
I am at the point to die
I am the God of Abraham
I am with thee
I am old
I am a smooth man
I am thy son
I am weary
I am the LORD God of Abraham
I am with thee
I am the God of Bethel
I am God Almighty
I am bereaved
I am God
I am to be gathered unto my people

Buggin Me

A caterpillar, hatches, eats, grows and builds a cocoon. It just does what it feels the need to do when it feels the need to do it.

The butterfly destroys the cocoon as it is "born". It lifts it's wings and moves them to dry them. It flies away.

They are the same creature. It does what comes naturally to it. What does the caterpillar need to know of flying? What does the butterfly know of building a cocoon? They don't even eat the same way.

They know what they need for the body they are in at the time. When it becomes the next form, it learns a new way to live. They don't need to 'worry' about what comes next. No one teaches them, they just LIVE. They do what they need to do to survive.

If humans can be compared to the caterpillar and our spirits are likened to the butterflies, why are we so concerned with "flying"? What's wrong with just being loving humans while was are human?

We know how to be loving, caring humans. We chose how we live. Love or don't love. Care or don't care, it's our choice.

To make this world a little better, all we have to be is caring of it and loving of each other. Hug someone today. Call a friend and share your time with them. Love someone. Live, love, give and share lovingly.

Yes, there is more to life than being human in a body. But right now, that's what we are. It's no more "wrong" to be human with human needs than it is for the caterpillar to eat leaves.

Now, we live here.

Later, we fly!

And when we get our wings, I'll fly a lap around the universe with you.

Sharing

We were talking about teaching and nourishing our spirits on the board today. I had this email come through last week. I'm sharing here because it explains so much so simply.

********

A man reached the pearly gates and before he decided to walk through, ask St. Peter to show him heaven and hell, so he could chose. The Saint agreed and led him to a room with two doors.

Behind the first door was a hugh table full of people with a feast spread out in front of them. Each person had long spoons instead of arms. All the people there were starving. They were fighting with each other trying to get to the food, but the spoons were too long to let them get it to their mouths even when they did get a bit..."That's hell", said St. Peter.

Behind the next door was the same scene, a hugh table of food and people all around it. These people also had long spoons instead of arms, but they were well fed, healthy, laughing and chatting...."That's heaven", said St. Peter, as he closed the door.

"What is the difference?", the man asked, "Both places were the same but for the way the people acted...."

Saint Peter answered, "The people in heaven have learned to feed each other."

********

It's not just food we need here. We need to feed each other's spirits. That is why I opened a new forum on my website last week. It's a place for comfort and feeding your spirit.

My readers here are welcomed there. The link is on the side bar - Dead is Just a Four Letter Word. When you get there, click on the "Forum" link in the menu. You have to register to post, but you can read all you want.

This is my "coming out". Many have not made the connection between this site and that one. I maintain them both. They are mine. Also on the side bar here is Forward Ho, which is my daily blog. I'm going there now to post the new site.

I hope you will join us.

The perfect gift for everyone

There is only one you.
In all of creation,
from this tiny planet
to the furthest reaches of the universe,
only
one
you.

No other one anywhere
can ever have or be.
Your self.

Sharing your love with another
is the most precious gift
you can give,
for there is no other that can offer it.
They can recieve it only from you.

When someone offers you
their time,
their thoughts,
their trust -
it can not be duplicated
or replaced
by those same things from any other.

Each time
we take someone
into our lives
it creates a joining,
unique,
between us;
our self and that one other soul.
are a pair
that can never be recreated
by any other love
in our lives.

Each of us is unique.
Each friendship is unique.
Each love is unique.
You can share everything you are
with everyone you meet
and it will never be the same
as it was with another one.

It will still be love.
It will still be precious.
It will still bring joy.
But it will never be the same
as any other love
you have in your life.

You can not give the love you have
for one to another.
You can only grow a new
and unique love
with that other.

So in each person
resides the capacity
to love many
like they are the only love
in their life.
Because each one you love
is the only one of them
in creation.

Only you can give this gift,
your love,
to another here.
It can not be taken from you,
forced from you,
stolen from you or
duplicated by another.
Love is always,
and only
a unique gift.

The rarest of treasures,
and most precious of gifts
is when one you love
loves the only one of you.

A giving of your love
creates a great love.
You always have
your unique love
to give to any other
you choose.
(return to top)

My mom made me do it.

Growing up, you do a lot of things you may not understand the importance of because your Mother told you to...not 'asked', TOLD.

Mom's don't always have the luxury of time to explain what's going on and why things need to be done. They just tell you to do them and expect it to get done NOW, not tomorrow, now.

Sometimes this makes the kids just a tad confused. It may not make any sense to them. (it can wait, why do I have to do it, you want WHAT?)

It may mess up their plans for the day. Sometimes it messes up their heads. (You WILL apologize to your brother! ((but he started it!)) NOW.) Kids live through it.

Moms won't change, They are trying to guide their children through life. Guide, cajol, push, drag, or compel, they try to get us taught in a way that will keep us out of jail and out of trouble with others. If, when we are on our own, we know the right thing to do in the correct places, it is partly because Mom (or dad or step mom or grams) told us it had to be that way.

It was no different for Jesus. He KNEW he was the Son of God, he was a Divinely led teacher, he had power to change the weather and bring the dead to life.

He still had a mom.

She raised him the best she knew how. She tried to take care of him. When he wandered off, she went to look for him. When he was grown, he took care of her. They were together at a family wedding one day.....

John 2
And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there. And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.

She didn't say, would you or could you or will you please. She simply stated the problem. They have no wine.

Not all communication is with words...any kid can tell you that. You know the look she would have given with those words; That "this is a problem you can fix, so fix it" look. All moms seem to have one like that, so they can insist you do something without saying another word.

Jesus was to be a famous, beloved savior to all that lived. There might have been a plan in place that would include a more earth shattering miracle than this one for his first time out.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

This was not the time to do miracles. He said so. He looked back at his mom and said "who are you to tell me what to do? I've been grown and gone for years now. (you're not the boss of me...)

But she is the mom. She would have up'ed her "look" to "THE look" and turned away, knowing he would not let her down.

His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.

Then she walked back to the party, knowing the family would have what they needed, because she had taken care of the problem by putting it in the hands of one who could fix it. Her part was done. Her son would handle it.

Because she told him to.

Now here is a good place to put "What would Jesus do?" I'm betting he rolled his eyes (after her back was turned) and let out that heavy sigh that all kids express when mom just dumps it on them and expects them to get it done....

It didn't matter that she was no longer the boss of him or that it wasn't the right time in Jesus' plan - His mom said the time was now and the need was wine.....Not gold, not love, not life, not healing - wine for a wedding party. Right. now.

So - what DID Jesus do?

His first public miracle, that's what. Why? Because God ordained it? (okay, maybe he did). But because his mother asked it of him. (okay, told him to).

And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.

(A firkin is about ten gallons. That's some big water pots. You are talking at least 60 gallons of wine....)

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.

They put it into pitchers and took it to be approved. That's what the tradition was. The head host or best man had to taste it and say it was okay to serve.

When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (he didn't know where it came from or that it was just water about a minute earlier) (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, and saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

Note that he didn't just make acceptable wine. They would have served the best they had at the beginning of the party. Jesus, who's time was not yet, and who no longer had a boss he called Mom, made an excellent wine....Because his mom would expect no less than his best.

And you know that when she saw the smile on the governer's face she would have looked at Jesus where he stood near the pots of water and just GLOWED a smile at him that said, "Thank you, my son. I knew I could count on you!"

And he would have grimaced and turned back to talking to the relatives he hadn't seen in a while and to the friends he had with him and ignored her the rest of the party. That's how kids are sometimes. We resent the things our parents put to us. We hate having our plans messed up.

But we love them, so we do it.

This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.

This was seen and testified to by his disciples later. ("I was there when he turned plain water into wine. No, I don't know how he does it. But you should'a been there! What a party!!")

Even after she made him do something he didn't want to, even after she spoiled her son's plans, they traveled together.

After this he went down to Capernaum, he, and his mother, and his brethren, and his disciples: and they continued there not many days.

You can bet they talked this out on the way. She and he would have done the "I knew you could", "Ya, but MOMMMM"...until they got to the part where they forgave each other and exchanged I love you's and hugs. They worked it out.

Mothers are not always easy to have. There are good ones, bad ones, sick ones and sad ones. But if you have a mother today, go spend some time with her.

It's what she would want you to do if you asked her.

And it's what Jesus would do....

If there is a God, why doesn't he take me?

It's a question anyone may cry out in the dark of sorrow or grief that feels too deep to survive. It's not a question that can really be answered, except in your own heart.

The answer, for me, was "Because somebody here still needs you".

It isn't a matter of me being "good" enough to go home or a matter of the days here being promised to me as "easy". It's that, because I love and care, even through my own hurts, there is one who will need the loving care only I can give them.

Maybe I will have to get through today and many tomorrows to see who it is and how I may help them, but me being on the planet is going to be exactly what someone needs one day.

Maybe I will be standing in just the right spot at just the right time and meet just the right person to change negative to positive. It might be as simple as taking a tree branch out of the road after a storm and preventing an accident or as dramatic as going into a burning building to get someone out. I don't know. I can't know what all the tomorrows will bring.

I do know that when I read, "If you want to know if your job here is done, check and see if you are still breathing." - I knew it for a true statement. I'm still here, still breathing. Still needed.

It's hard to see what point there is to our lives sometimes. Many times there seems to be no point at all. But while you are here what we do, even all alone, affects us all.

And for one person somewhere, sometime, I may be the only one who can do what needs to be done just the way only I would do it.

So for those of you wandering around wondering why you can't get a ticket home - Hang on.

Somebody needs you.

What am I doing here?

What am I doing here? I can't answer it. But I know you are important. Precious. Loved.

I got some info from http://www.lifeofchrist.com/life/genealogy/women.asp

"Matthew included five women in his genealogy of Christ. This is notable since it was not customary for Jews to include women in their records. The five women were: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. "

Tamar (Genesis 38:6-30) was the daughter-in-law of a man named Judah. Her husband, Judah's son, died, leaving no children.

Judah gave her to his son's brother. By law her offspring would continue the dead son's name and recieve his inheritance.

Tamar's brother-in-law refused to have children with her. God killed him for this. Judah would not give Tamar to any of his other sons, having lost two now.

Tamar, to continue her husband's line, disguised herself as a harlot and seduced Judah. Their child was named Perez, which means "divided".

Rahab ( Joshua 2:1-24 ) was a harlot who lived in Jericho. She hid the spies of Joshua. Because of this, the Israelites spared her life when they conquered Jericho. She later became the wife of Salmon, and the mother of Boaz. Rahab's faith was later commended (Heb 11:30-31).

Ruth ( Ruth 1:1-4:22) was a Moabite. She had married a Jew. Her mother-in-law was Naomi. They journeyed to Israel after all the men in the family died. Ruth would not leave Naomi to travel alone.

While in Israel, Ruth met and married Boaz, one of Naomi's relatives. Ruth later became the mother of Obed, the grandfather of David the King.

Bathsheba ( 2 Samuel 11:1-27 ) was the wife of Uriah the Hittite, who was a soldier in the army of King David. David wanted her after seeing her one time. He commanded she be brought to him. (Kings get to do that...) He slept with her and got her with child.

David called her husband home from war. When his plan to trick him about the pregnancy wouldn't work, David sent Uriah back into the thick of the battle. sHe also sent secret orders that support should be withdrawn from Uriah when the fighting became fierce. Uriah was killed.

David then took Bathsheba as his own wife. God punished David for this by killing their first child. Bathsheba had another son and called him Solomon, "one who recompenses".

Mary ( Matthew 1:18-25, Luke 1:26-56) Mary was a virgin when Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit. (but try to tell your fiancee' and your neighbors THAT!) When Joseph found she was with child he intended to put her away secretly because this was so shameful.
An angel came to tell Joseph what had happened. Joseph went ahead and took Mary as his wife, (inspite of what "everyone" said about her). Mary later had other sons and daughters by Joseph. (Matthew 13:55-56).

I think the point is that every life has value, always. You may not know what is important about your life while you live it. You can't know what you are doing here, only what you appear to be doing....and things are not always what they seem.

What you think is important about your life may not be the real gift you leave the world. You may build a hospital or write a book. That's good. But it may be one who reads the book that changes the world. It may be years after you are passed over to the other side that your life's importance is discovered.

No matter your situation, you can still contribute more love and joy to the world by teaching one more person to love and share love with others. By doing what is important to you, you contribute to the future.

Tamar never knew she was an ancestor to the man who would change the world. She seduced her father in law to keep her husband's name alive. She wanted children and a family.

Rahab never knew, either. She was "just a whore" and probably never expected to marry, much less have children and a caring husband.

Ruth was looking out for her mother in law, supporting her and herself. They were only destitute, grieving widows. But she found love again and is also one of Jesus' ancestors.

Mary was like any teen aged girl suddenly with child. She bore the shame. Many would not have believed in the virgin birth until her son was in his thirties and began his ministry of miracles. 33 years of scorn she may have endured. Why? What point in living when "everyone says" you cheated on your man....

Whatever you think of yourself, whatever you think society says you are, you are a person who loves.

God loves you just the way you are, just where you are standing, whatever you are doing.
So when it's hard, when it's lonely, when your heart is filled with grief, comfort yourself with the knowing that you have a value - you love.

Hold to YOUR course

Mark 6:45-52 (NKJV)
45 Immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while He sent the multitude away.
46 And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.
47 Now when evening came, the boat was in the middle of the sea; and He was alone on the land.
48 Then He saw them straining at rowing, for the wind was against them. Now about the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea, and would have passed them by.
49 And when they saw Him walking on the sea, they supposed it was a ghost, and cried out;
50 for they all saw Him and were troubled. But immediately He talked with them and said to them, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."
51 Then He went up into the boat to them, and the wind ceased. And they were greatly amazed in themselves beyond measure, and marveled.
52 For they had not understood about the loaves, because their heart was hardened.

46 And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.

What did Jesus have to pray about? He'd healed the sick, spoken of the new gospel to the people that sought him, fed the crowd, sent the disciples safely away and finally got some time to himself.

I would have collapsed in a heap and wanted a hot cuppa tea. He wanted to commune with God.

The day wasn't over yet and I think he knew it. He still had to walk out over the sea and meet the boat, calm the storm and lift Peter out of the waves.

If I knew I had all that to do after all I had done my prayer might have been, "Father - don't you realize how much you are cramming into a day for me here? I'm TIRED! How am I supposed to get the rest of this done? I'm beat now. They don't even see what is right in front of them. You just fed 5000 people and they don't even see that as a miracle so WHY did you have me even try? Wasn't it a wasted effort? And now you want me to walk on water. Do you remember I'm from the desert? Sand, wind - those I know. Walk on WATER? What is the POINT!"

Now I'm betting that, with his deeper understanding, that isn't what Jesus prayed. But how often would we have seen the whole event of feeding 5000 as wasted because no one saw the miracle in it but us? Walking on water? Who cared? It just scared his friends. Pulling Peter out? What for? How come Peter had to lose faith? Hadn't he showed them ENOUGH miracles yet? Didn't they understand he was God's son and could do anything he needed to, including allowing another to walk on water?

He still has to keep showing us, everyday, that he is real. We can't seem to remember the healings, the rescues, the "just exactly what I needed" events from yesterday. I feel better knowing the disciples couldn't remember, either.

And the poor disciples are out there rowing a boat in a storm! Why? Because that's what Jesus asked them to do. He was the one everyone wanted to see. What was the point in them going to the next place without him. Why would they struggle to keep the boat afloat and on course? No one is going to know how hard it was. Why didn't they just give up and drift?

He gave them a direction and they were trying to do what he asked of them. Was it easy? Did it seem to have an important purpose? Aside from keeping themselves alive in the storm there was no reason to aim where he told them to. There was a storm. Anyone would understand if they just put into land anywhere for safe harbor in a storm....

But they didn't. They kept rowing even though the wind was against them. Even though no one would know what they did and even though it looked like they might die in the attempt and even though they may have felt stupid for staying out in a storm. They kept rowing.

I'm glad to know they preservered. When I seem to be "going against the grain" of the world or people around me, but I know it's where I have been directed, I can hold my course sure. I wait for the voice that will come out of the dark - "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."

He's here. Every minute, every trial, every seemingly pointless effort, is guarded by him. That's the comfort of the story for me - no matter what, do not be afraid. He's got me covered.

Ten percent?

Mt 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Is our "tithe" limited to the physical things we have? Things; money, homes, food, possessions. They have value and to share them is not just "good" but love being showed.

This verse seems to say that to show the love that has been given to us that we should tithe of our "things" AND our hearts. When I am angry if I could think to "tithe" forgiveness wouldn't I then give up the anger at another and isn't that a tithe of love?

When someone wrongs me and I can think to tithe "mercy", that I have been given in such abundance, wouldn't I give up the hurt and make peace?

I had already come to the conclusion that we should tithe of our talents as well as our resources. Tithing time, transportation, skills - I understood that. But tithing of our feelings and judgements - that's a new thought.

Many times I have thought the truth of my feelings was trash I was handing to the Divine Loving Being - but he sees the truth as beautiful, whatever it is in my judgement. If I could be willing to give up a tithe, say ten percent, of my hurt, anger and frustrations with life, wouldn't it be improving my life?

And if he returns what you tithe to him ten fold then wouldn't I have more ability to forgive, offer mercy, pass on kindness, not hurts?

I don't know. When I don't know I say, "There's two ways to find out; Ask someone who knows or try it and see." I'm guessing on this one I'll be trying it to see.

I'll tithe of my feelings. If I am angry I will reach for forgiveness to give instead of more hurt to another. If I am sad I will reach for a small part of joy to share - not sadness. I will give up the self pity for a bit of thankfulness and share that with others. Then I will see what happens next.

I know I haven't said this well. The words are deceptive. I have tithed of my income and my possesions. Now I'm going to add to it. I will tithe of kindness, forgiveness and mercy instead of passing on anger, pain and sadness. It makes sense to me. It's the way I see it today.