Give it up.

You get told that - "You're beating your head against a stone wall. Give it up!"

Today the words that came to me were "Give it up."

I don't like giving up when I have started something. There is are situations in my life that I have worked hard at and put a lot of time, money, effort and my very heart into. Some of them ain't goin nowhere. I have to give it up. That made me sad.

Then I realized what I had to do was "give it UP^" I took it in prayer and laid it on the lap of my friend, the Christ. I could tell Him how hard I tried and how disappointed I am that I am not what is needed when I want so to be needed and loved. I told him how I still screw up even when it's love I'm trying to express. I told Him I was sorry I can't do more. I have to give it up.

He took it for me. There is no shame in giving it up to Him. He knows we can't always "fix it" down here. It's not us that opens hearts and eyes and minds, it's Him. All we can do is show others it works in our lives by living what we believe. Their choices are theirs.

I can point them to Him, I can say and show I look to Him, only He can open them to the love that is theirs from Him.

Sometimes I try too hard. I "work at" trying to do what should be easy for me when it's something I love doing. I know that when I am trying to please others here and not the Divine Love I get all tensed up. It hurts when what I do seems not to be enough or appreciated.

Today I have to "give it Up^" and give up trying so hard myself. I have to know I don't need to feel I have failed. I have done what I can, the rest is up to Him.

Silly me, thinking I can change even one heart when I can't even control myself without His guidance. Foolish me, being hurt because I'm not good enough by other humans standards. In His eyes I am enough.

I gotta remember what's important is just to give, show and share love. The rest is "up^" to Him.

First Fruits

I looked up "tithe" and, after some reading, decided to leave it at a percent of your increase that you give where it's needed out of love. The Old Testament is more specific. It's not worth getting all stirred up about. It means to put back part of what you recieve for others benefit and dedicate it to God. In my case that means to Love. (Different words, same thing)

The book says some other things about tithes, articles say many things about tithes. What I have been thinkng about is the phrase "first fruits" - "the firstfruits of your toil" (Exodus 23:16) . It's the first place I can find this phrase.

Fruit - offspring - increase - things that grow from an established plant or person. Things that grow, produce seed of their own after they separate from their "creator". This continues through the generations and into the future, well past the first tree that put out a seed or the first child.

The first fruits of our toil is not just a cut of the cash we make going to work. It's not just the produce we grow and share with our neighbors - it's us. We are the first fruits of the previous generations. Then there are our first fruits. I see it as our talents, our skills, our knowledge and our abilities.

I see first fruits in how we show love to others here; how we raise our children to care and love - or not. Not as we told them, but as we showed them, we will see our fruit in them.

I wish I had done better for my children but they have learned from others in their lives to live and love even when I could not show it well. They love.

That's a large part of what we pass on to the next generations following us - love; how to, how not to, caring for each other, believing in each other. Love shared is"first fruits", too.

It's not all about the money and who gets it. It's the time and who you share it with. We seem to spend most of our time with people we pass by as "co-workers", not friends and certainly not anyone we would show loving care to. When we get back to the little bit of time left for our families we are tired and often need some love showed to us, too. To find the energy to love your family and do something besides sit beside them in front of the TV is beyond many of us.

What will the fruit be of that kind of life? We see it all around us. Kids whose parent's are busy keeping up with chores and the responsibilities of life, but not finding time to be with those "first fruits" and love them. Dad's exausted and wondering why he doesn't want to spend time with Mom. Mom is beat and wishing she could find more time for Dad. They both see the kids slipping away but don't know how to pull them back....scattered energy, scattered families being sent into the future where the fruit will be tough and dry.

To put your best forth for "tithe" you don't need to have money - look where love is needed and give what you can to each one you meet. Some days I don't love as well as others. Most of the time I am afraid I love too well and leave myself or those that look to me feeling shorted. I just keep trying.

Those tired families? Take over a meal on a Wednesday night after work and heat it up so they can sit down with you ( and each other) and spend time together. Take the kids with you for a night. Don't know what to do with them? Teach them how to do something you love doing. I intend to make candles again soon and have a couple kids over. Their folks get a break and time to be with each other, I get company, the dogs get petted and the kids get some much needed attention. We all get candles.

Doesn't seem like a tithe to you? Gas to get the kids, food to feed them, something to do isn't always free either. Patience with more people around than you are used to and the time to do it. Looks like a tithe to me. First fruits given to show love to another.

It applies to your job, your hobbies, your daily walk - how can you give a tithe from a walk? Invite someone to go with you that needs companionship or exercise. What's the tithe? Your alone time, your energy, your listening to the birds left behind to hear your friend talk....

Think of how many people have contributed to your abilities and skills that you use everyday. I remember my grampa telling me how to line up the wheel on the lawn mower to get the widest cut but still not miss any spots. I used it yesterday to conserve gas while I mowed. Maybe I didn't save much, but what I did was because he took the time to teach me the best way. It was 45 years ago but I use it every time I mow. He took the time to be with me and show me how.

If I make a loaf of bread I see it took a lot of people to get the wheat, sugar, yeast, eggs, milk and salt to me. It took more to provide the oven I use and the power that heats it. You can get quite a long list if you try to include every single thing that goes into you making a loaf of bread. Don't forget the cook who taught you how and the book or card you pulled the recipe out of and the people that brought it to you. Remember the guy that invented eletricity or how to contain gas fuels....it's a lot of people and could go back to the first woman that crushed grain with a rock...

What can I do to pass on love showed to me? First fruits should be sharing that remarkable loaf of bread with those you love - not just by eating it warm with strawberry jam - but by teaching another to make a loaf of bread from scratch, by rewriting the recipe for a friend, by showing someone how to grind the flour from the wheat itself. Using your knowledge to have more bread made down the road is, to me, first fruits.

You can tithe "by the book", giving a percent of your income, or you can give of your "first fruits", the love that has been gifted to you by others in your life and pass it on.

I just realized I do fairly well with first fruits, not too bad with the "tithe" and have had love in all my days. That's a pretty good return on my investment.

Others have had like thoughts. I found this one researching my definitions today. It makes the cut for first fruits, in my opinion. E-Sword is a free computer bible study program. Read the first page and see what you think.

In the mean time, if the cash for the tithe is a little short just remember you can make up the difference in love.

Grace

Grace. I can not explain it well. It must be experienced by each one.

Love without conditions or restrictions. Divine forgiveness. The healing of a soul's heart. The gift of joy in living again as you were made to be. To leave the hurts, shames and hates of this life time with Him. Your life's experiences no longer marring your behavior or perceptions. Changed. Clean. Fresh again. Remade.

He can take a memory in your heart and not change the way it happened but change the way you see it and change the results of that event so it works now for the good of His plan.


It is His gift to us - knowing that not only are we loved just as we are but so is each one of us. We are all loved.


A friend said, "I still remember my life and the things I did that I saw as wrong. I carry them in a different aspect now. They don't hurt me anymore."


I said He gave me a way to see things so I could better understand and forgive, not just the others in my life, but even myself.

We both meant that we were forgiven and forgave ourselves, our lives were ours again to live in joy, not shame, happiness, not despair.

The feeling fades and returns. I can't always hang on to the grace. It's there every time I reach for it and never fails to heal my heart.

As you are, you are loved.

Hiatus

I have been "doing" more than "thinking" lately. I came to the conclusion that that is as it should be. Lofty thoughts never got the dishes done, so to speak.

I haven't stopped my relationship with the Divine so much as come to trust that Being to guide me as I go. I don't have to stop every second and write a thought down to share, I think I have to reach out to those around me and apply the beliefs I hold.

Like do unto others, it's all just stuff and stuff all just burns up, love 'em while ya got 'em, find the joy in the day, and put my energy and time where my pen is.....

That's some mangling of the language...sorry.

I got hit by a song today on the radio as I drove to work. It just made me cry. It wasn't "Last Kiss" or "Leader of the Pack" or even "He stopped loving her today". Those all touch my heart.

It was "I will survive".

However confused and painful the days are; even if the days are good in my determination; I will survive - forever.

I may royally screw up. I may fail in my estimation of not succeeding. I might even blow it all off and run off to a beach and leave it all behind me and change my name. I can still hurt myself and others here. I can still spend nights crying in lonliness. I can get mad, mean, even, snotty, crude, rude and thoughtless.

I don't chose that right now - but I could. Some days I lean toward the hard side of me more than I like even still.

But I will survive. I am loved just as I am. I am just as beautiful a creation now as I was when I stood before that Being of Love I met when I died.

What a gift - Grace.

Loved for being exactly as you are. No judgement, just acceptance of all of your self.

Thank you.

Where's the line?

How far can (will, should, could, may, do) I go? How far will I reach out to another? How far is too far? Is there a limit on how far the Divine Love can support and provide for me? Is it possible to "over reach" myself? Have I gone too far?


I'm in it again up to my neck and maybe even my lips....I have been giving what I do not feel I have too share. I am giving more than I think I have to share. I am going further than social limits, further than family limits and even reaching beyond my previous limits to show loving care and help to others. I'm putting almost all I can see a way to share on the line and then stepping over it a little further...


It's scary. I could really screw myself up doing this. Can't I? Or can the Love that created all fail to raise me over the limits I impose on my ability to share?


Well, duh. I can reach further than God can. I can share more than Love can provide. I can offer more than I can give because I may not have enough for me.


Sometimes I feel pretty stupid and heartless. Why do I keep thinking (at all, LOL) that my needs, as infimetesimal as they are, can't be met? What makes me think that I have so much more loving care in my heart for others than the Divine Love holds for them?


I can give it all away or have it all taken away and it will all come to me again as I need it.

How can you reach out too far when you reach with love?

There ain't no line except the ones we draw ourselves. I'm gonna use my eraser a bunch and do what it seems was brought to me to do.

Just right

If you read the post before this one then you are caught up.

Now I have to add this - Every bit of what I put in of my own contribution to beef up the tithe has been returned to me. If you figure the mileage out the gas was covered, too.

I lost a check a while ago. It was reissued yesterday. There was tithe from another person directed to me. The total was what I put out for my friend and the gas. Honest.

It's just so strange to see the needs met around me and then see my own met with no communication directed to any of those that contribute. It just happens. We feel like we need to do something or go visit someone or drop off a meal or whatever and it turns out to be just what was needed.

I think I need one thing and I recieve another. I have someone ask for something and fill the need with something else.

Being open to any possible answer is something I have been working on. I don't seek "money", I ask for the need I see or feel to be met in any loving way. It seems to make a difference.

By having a thought in my head like, "I need X to come to me in this way," I think it limits the invisible to what I see as possible or impossible. If I just say, "This one has this need and I'm asking you to fill it, thanks," I leave it open ended in my head. I have made no limit in myself to accepting the way the Love manifests itself.

It's a combination of words have power, intentions are actions and Love is always the right answer, I think.

Whatever it is, I see it is real here. It's just right.

It's all about the love. (But I can't, I'm tired.)

I was too tired last night, I thought, to make the effort to deliver what I call my tithe to where I felt it needed to go. I went to the bank and then pulled up to the intersection that would start my trip to the house.

I put my turn signal on for a right. I proceeded to annoy several other drivers when my hand changed it's mind, turned the signal off and drove me straight through the intersection. It really seemed like that, even though I must have made the decision to let it. Right?

"But I always stay too long when I go there", I told me. "I'm beat already and there are chores to do and I haven't eaten and I'm too tired. Why can't it wait until tomorrow?" No, now is the time, is what I felt told.

I have followed the "feelings" too long not to know it must be the right way for me to go. I gave in to it, called the person I had intended to have coffee with and took a rain check then, more carefully, negociated the traffic to get up north.

It's really not my abundance I am sharing when I "invest in futures" for the Divine Love. It's all His. He gave me enough to share. He directed me to where I saw the need and provided the means to meet it. All I had to do was get it there in the right amount at the right time.

"I won't have enough for me..." - I started discussing it with Him in my head. I went over the bills, the chores, the house repairs, the yard work and pointed out I don't have time, money or energy to spare for them if I'm putting all I have out here in energy, time, gas and finances. No change. So I went on up.

Funny, I pulled around the corner just in time to see my friend turning toward the driveway. They smiled to see me coming. That lifted my heart. I smiled back.

There is more than a need for just a little financial boost there. There are sad hearts and hurt hearts and dreams and love hiding behind barracades of hurt there. I touched where I could and encouraged where I could and smiled where I could. It seemed to lighten things up there.

After a little basic math I thought I might have to be a little more helpful than I planned on. I took a moment to get alone and pray because the number in my pocket didn't feel like "enough". It was the number by the book, I guess it wasn't the number by the Love.

I ended up knowing I had to "show a little more love." The "why of it" was that I know the Divine Love takes care of me. What it needs, it covers. Others can't see it that way. They can only see the way I live. To show it's real to me I have to live it. So that means putting it out there - when I am tired, when I am discouraged, when I feel neglected, when I have other things to do that may seem needed, it doesn't matter. Showing the love - the Divine and my own small bit - are real is what's important. It's all that counts. If I have something still in my hand that another needs worse I will be unhappy with me. I don't like that.

I went. I added a "personal contribution" to the tithe. I did stay too long. I did enjoy the visit. I can't and couldn't heal all that I saw that hurt, but I did what I can. I did get home to late and I am still tired.

So why am I content? Before I left for the night I knew what I had done was "just right". It was the amount needed right then; Not tomorrow, but right then. It was needed in hand that night for the tomorrow to go as it should. Without it the need would have been unmet.

I hadn't wasted my time. I had applied it properly and I am glad I did it. It eased a heart, salved a pride, walked a person a little taller, and shared the love all at the same time. Wow.

It's not "just money" being thrown at a situation. It was my time, the only thing that is mine to spend as I think it should be, it was my gas, something I need for getting to work, it was my heart, in that I cared and showed it, it was my smile that said, "I believe you're going to be okay." and the comfort I offered in having a few more people know they aren't in this life alone.

I know I showed the most love I can. I know it was right and I know it will be covered somehow. I love the warm fuzzy of helping someone. I love that I had a way to do it and I love it that the Divine Love is one heart bigger today because another heart turned to it and said a sincere "Thank You."

I still need a nap - but it's all about the love.

*********
had to add this P.S. I really did do all I felt I could to help my friend. When I talked to them the next day their words really touched me. They had to get some auto parts and gas then go take care of the project I was trying to help with. "I got there and they told me what it would cost. It was exactly what I had in my pocket."

Yes, that's a quote. Yes, they said "exactly". It took every bit they had, but they had every bit they needed.

I'm glad I made the effort and I'm thrilled they are seeing the Divine Love working in their life.

I see it is working in mine....Wow.

Show and Tell

1 John 3

17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

"this world's good" - your means of living here. Not just "goods" like food and money, but the ability to provide them, your talents and abilities.

It's not always about money. Maybe you crochet and some child needs a scarf and mittens, or you know how to garden and the neighbor needs fresh vegetables. Maybe you are patient and love children and some one needs a baby sitter for their child. These are ways to meet needs we often discount instead of seeing the love our care shares with others.

If you care and can meet a need for someone you are working with the Divine Love. It doesn't have to be a hugh effort or large amount. The increase is His to provide. If you have the means to meet a need but "shut it up" what have you showed others about what you believe?

Mark 12
42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites,
which make a farthing.
43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

To give all we have is so hard. We think of the needs to come and forget they can be met as they arrive. We hold on to that extra "just in case" and forget that you can't fill a full hand. To be "refilled" you have to have empty hands.

We schdule time for "ourselves" and forget that there is more joy in sharing than in doing something alone.

John 1 - 3:018 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

To truely give of yourself, your time and talents to others is showing the Love is real to you and sharing love with others. You can say you believe Loving is the way to live all day long, but at the end of the day who else will say they know you believe?; Those who heard you say it or those who saw you loved them?

Words again.

Let me excuse myself, first. I'm not feeling too healthy today. I have some kind of flu laying me low. The thoughts might be a little more scattery than usual. Sorry.

I have come to believe that our words have a power of their own that we may not understand. The words we say express our feelings, thoughts and intentions or describe what we have done, our actions. They also record our reactions to life and let us share them with others.

I am learning to watch my words. Not that I may have to eat them, but that they may bring to life something that should not have been given birth. Once a word had been said it can not be called back, only expanded on to try and explain.

I had some casual, humor type words with a friend that turned to words of hurt. I was laughing at something they said then I said, "Sometimes I want to smack you!". When they asked why I popped out, "Sometimes I think you just need smacking."

These are words of my younger times. They were said by me and my sisters and parents and came our from a pre-recorded file in my head. We us them when we what we mean is - "I don't think you understand what I am saying and you should pay attention".

They come from the story of the mule and the farmer. A neighbor watched as the farmer walked up and smacked the mule in the head with a board. The mule shook his head a few times but didn't seem to be hurt. The farmer walked behind the plow and said giddy up. The mule started right off, heading for the fields. The neighbor asked why he did that and the farmer said, He is a good mule but you have to get his attention first.

That is a lot of words to explain that maybe they heard I wanted to hit them and what I meant was I don't think you understand what I said, please pay attention. It also says I think we had a communication break down.

I was spouting words carelessly, expecting them to understand what I meant and they heard something altogether different.

I can't seem to remember the power of words. Caring is using them carefully and gently.
Where do all our words go? Written or spoken, even in private and alone, one day they will be found or heard somewhere. Maybe by someone we don't even know.

I wrote and spoke of the pot shards I called water flow control devices that were judged by me, at first, as trash and a mess I needed to clean up.

Looking at the situation and the broken pot an experienced gardner might have seen their use before I did. They might have done it before. I had to figure it out myself and see it. I had no one to discuss it with that knew about potting plants.

A simple fix seemed important to me because of the way I saw it two ways even though I was by myself here.

I found another blogger who sees broken things as something other than trash. I wanted to share this photo of what she does with broken ceramics. It's another way to see what was, to someone, just a mess to clean up.
If two people look at the same thing and one says first, "That is ugly!" does the second person then see it as ugly? If so, they agree and go on their way.

If the other decides differently - they say, "I don't think so, it's just strange." Does it modifiy the first speaker's judgement? Do they see it differently now those words brought this view to them?

The first can say, "You might be right but it looks ugly to me," or "I hadn't thought of that, maybe it is just I have never seen one before."

That is the power of words between us. They can change the way we see things.

If I go cursing and angry at others and events in my life I am giving birth to negative feelings that I can not stop. They are in the world and can hurt someone even if I never said them directly to that person.

I think the words I was less than careful with have hurt my friend and I am sorry. I could have said them differently and now I wish I had. I was trying to explain how treating yourself less than precious hurts others who care about you.

When I thought they didn't understand my meaning I dropped back to words I would have used to my sis- my family - because I feel like they are family to me.

We do not have the history of those shared jokes and words between us. They only thought I meant they needed to be hit, not understanding the meaning underneath.

I only wanted them to try harder to hear what I was saying. I didn't really want to hit them. I hate hurting anyone or anything. But I used the wrong words to say it.

The sis said once she was having a fit of road rage when she thought, what if that person heard me and then we met at my church? What testimony is that for love and peace in my heart and the world?

"I remember you, I made a mistake in traffic yesterday and you cussed me out like a sailor.Glad to meet you. I don't think I want to join a church where you go. It is not the way I want to be treated." Yup, that would be a good one.

She started watching her words before I did because she was showed the power in her words, and the intentions behind them, could affect another wrongly.

If I say words, even in my home all alone, the power is not gone from them. I have given life to those thoughts and intentions in myself. I brought what I was only thinking of to be real in this world now.

I don't want to be ranting and raving in anger and hurt at something because I am reinforcing those feelings in me. I am trying to learn to take those thoughts only to Him because He can turn them for me to a loving way to see the situation and the bad feelings go right out of me.

I have to see them first and know I have them before I can give them to Him. I don't have to say or act on them. I don't have to give them life here of their own to hurt others with or myself be hurt by them.

So I try to consider my words. I can comfort myself with the thought that I am what He has made of me but I remember that I picked part of what I am myself when I chose what I wanted to do in life. I am what I made me, too.

What part of me is just speaking words as they come out and what part of me prays to HIm first?
What I have learned in the world comes flying out of me because I know the ways of the world and those in it that have interacted with me.

What I am learning of Him and how life should be here for everyone is the part that reaches to Him in every little thing. That would be the new me; the one that flinches when people curse now. Not because I am offended but because I know that another negative word has been born in them and in the world.

It seems that there are times when even I think a curse would be a relief. It's hard, when you hit your thumb with a hammer, to see any way to say, "Bless it!" and really mean it. We mean, "Damn it!" Damn the hammer and the nail and my clumbsy way of using them and Damn it that it was broken and I had to try and fix it and Damn it all to Hell! We hurt.

But when something like that happens to you and you watch inside yourself you will see that if you try to say "Bless it!", even when you want to say the other, that your mind takes a different path. Your intention is modified by using a different word.

Even said in a negative way your mind turns it to a positive meaning. For me it came something like this in my head. "Bless my thumb, it's going to need healing. Bless the hammer so it goes where I aim. Bless the nail so it will drive straight. Bless the mending of this broken thing for my family and help me get it done so I can do something more fun with my time."

It's just a little twist in your thoughts and I don't know how it may seem to you. But if you would try it for a few days, using any thing with a positive meaning to you in place of my "Bless it", I think you might see what I mean.

I do not like to curse if I can stop in time and I do not like to put words to my thoughts of others with anyone but the one I would speak of now. I still do speak what I am calling, "out of place" but I am seeing it when I do it and now I am trying to stop. I don't like it in myself.

I don't like sending out anything that is not what I really mean and if it is something I really mean the place to give it is to the one I am thinking of, not another here with me. I want the communication clear between us without the muddle of someone trying to repeat something I said and getting it wrong by the way they thought I meant it.

The thoughts and intentions inside us are shared by the words and the actions between us. I am trying to learn to make my words and actions be shaped by kind and loving thoughts because that is what I want to put into the world, loving kindness.

It isn't always going to happen. I speak to warn of danger from others that I have seen hurt people or I speak to share my care for others to those I feel love them, too and may be able to help them. I am going to try to take all of that to the one that can really do it.

I think it will make it hard to have a conversation for awhile. I find my mouth stopping sometimes because I don't want to let out what I thought. I get weird pauses and fumble for the right words. Still, as hard as it is I want to try it. I think words have too much power to just use them to make noise.

It's like having a flame thrower in the pine trees to light a cooking fire with when you send out negative or hurtful words, they take off and burn down the whole forest and all you meant to do was get the feelings out of your system.

If I need to take a dump I go to the bathroom. If I need to get things that are negative in my opinion and judgement out of me I am seeing to take them to Him first. He can change them for me to see them in the light of His love and nobody gets hurt by them.

One thought of what this might do is leave me talking to someone about them and their life instead of talking with them about others we know. I can't see anything wrong with that.

If I pray before I speak anything that resembles judgement of what they tell me and only say encouraging and hopeful words we might have quite a conversation and I will grow to understand them better. Isn't that what spending time with someone we love is supposed to be?

I'm working on it. It's not easy.

Failed trust

I have found them out there, the ones that can not accept a gift with no strings attached as real. Those are the ones that hurt my heart. There is a need in them I can't fill. I see a need for them to be able to trust the ones around them. I can't fill it. The world has beaten it out of them. I hurt it out of some of them, myself. It shames me to say that, but it's a truth.

I watched a coyote once that was freezing and starving try to trust humans again. With no mean thought in me, I had put out food for him. I put it in a steel bowl. That's what I feed my dogs in. They eat inside where it's not freezing cold.

He was just starting to eat when I went to the window to check on him. He startled and his tongue stuck on the bowl, over turning it and hurting him, just before he ran off. Trusting failed.

I didn't mean that to happen. I tried to help and hurt him instead, reinforcing his fear of humans. The only way he could see it was as a mean trick. I didn't think it through and so I hurt him. It was an accident. While that made me sorry and sad, I knew I didn't mean to hurt him. I doesn't change the way he experienced it. And there it stands, I screwed up.

The truth is that, as humans, we just can't think of everything. Even in kindness we can hurt each other. A flaw in our actions only shows after they happen. Even the small neglects we hurt each other with can ruin a heart or a life, unseen by us at the time.

Some will have lost their trust by accidents and ignorance. Some have had their true loving trust betrayed by those that should have cared for them. Then there are those that seem to thrive on hurting others. How ever they have lost it, it's gone and I only know one who can bring it back.

When those that can't trust hurt me I remember those I have hurt. Forgiving them is easier then. When it's harder I can take it to prayer. I pray that someone can restore their ability to trust again. Losing trust of others confines us to only ourselves. To stand alone is to punish yourself for others treatment of you. You are the only one who suffers when you are cut off from everyone. I don't understand the math, but I see it's true.

After being hurt that one too many times you stop reaching out and, worse yet, you let no one reach toward you. There you stand in pain, anger, and hurt with no hope of relief. You may not be the one who did the harm. You suffered the harm done to you.

Why do we punish ourselves for the actions of others. And why do we punish those we don't even know for the actions of others in our pasts? We almost literally push them away from us. I think it's the fear. Fear holds us frozen in our pain; we can't move, we can't heal, and no one can help because we can trust no one.

Then something happened and I see another one on the way to isolation. She is only four years old and it may be too late to overcome her fears. She has been hurt by one she trusted in a way that made all people suspect. How do you help one so small understand what even adults can't?

I understand how some of us end up hiding away. It's just too dangerous to our hearts to have any contact with another person. Just once more, we think, to be betrayed, will damage us beyond repair. So many times the damage is done without realizing it or carelessly that the others involved may never even understand they hurt you. So you avoid them all.

It's when I think of the words to my family, or friends or, worse yet, to my children, that I hurt. I see the promises unkept, the visits missed, the "just a minutes" and "when I get through with this" that I scattered in their lives. I didn't mean it to destroy their trust in those that love them. I thank God for His healing of those small hearts as I see them loving and trusting again.

I know he's going to tell me that to offer love is never wrong. They won't accept love from Him, how can they accept it from me? Then I give him the sadness that causes in my heart and He takes it from me. Nothing is beyond the Divine Love's ability to repair. He built it. But they have to accept. And the best cure is to be more careful and loving of each other.

I can't see a way to fix all that is so obviously wrong in this world. I can only deal with each small thing I see the best I can. I am thankful that the Divine Love has it covered. I only wish it would cram the recovery into high gear. I cried for that small, hurt child. I can't change her life or heal her wounded heart.

When we don't tell someone they have even only annoyed us once, we are locked into not telling them again if they repeat the action. It niggles at us and nips but we think we are being kind or polite to not say anything.

By not telling me when I have done something that has annoyed or hurt you I am denied the learning of how to do better or avoid it another time. I don't even know there is a problem until it's too big, in you, to repair. Something altogether different may finally rub against that first sore spot and next think you know we are both upset but only one of us knows why.

That is not truth. It is not honest at all. If you deal with those things when they are small they can be eliminated, negotiated or compromised on so everyone is comfortable. When you don't they become magnified by repetition and blow up all over every one.

Get angry, get upset, but say something so I know that there is something I can do differently to do better next time. If you don't and there is no next time we have both lost a chance to love.

Keep the truth in your love. It's not easy. Grace is all that can make it work here at all. But Truth IS Love. Hold to it. Reach for it. Share it.

Reach out to a hurt heart today, show them one here cares. Even if they can't reach back they will see one who still tries to help, not hurt. If you can leave hope in a heart, it can see a small light of possiblities. Give someone hope.