Trusting

I have so many thoughts going through my head I can't pick just one and expand it. They all call for thought and attention. Trust that God loves each and every one of us and does what is best for all of us, walk safe in His love.


How do you say that to one who's world has shattered? One who's best friend is gone in pain and perhaps not able to believe in a God of love right now?


How do you feed and grow a spirit? I am trying to see love in what appears to be fertilizer around here. I can not understand the love that God must see in the separation of two that love. I see the way my spirit has grown but the cost for that seems high to me. I guess I will understand it better when I get there.

But here I am. How can I help my friends? I feel helpless in front of their grief. I know the depths it reaches in them and can only stand helpless and let my tears fall for them.

The loss of the part of your spirit that belonged to the one that has gone on ahead is a shock to the heart, a pain to the body and it can not be replaced. For those of us with long years between us each one that has known us so long takes a part of our youthful self and we feel that much older. The ones that knew the same jokes and stories are no longer here to share them. We feel that much more alone.

We gather together to commemorate the life that has touched each of us but all of us must grieve alone in our spirits, no other can know all of us.

I reach for the One that knows all of me and loves me still and pray that he will ease each torn spirit and comfort them today.

I can't do it. Mine has had a shock, too. The first was that I lost one of my friends. The second that my other friend will walk the path I have and I don't know how to help her. I can cheer her on but I can not walk it for her even though I know one way through the dark.

My heart aches at all the sadness around me today. I pray He lifts it for them. I pray he lifts it from me. I see the joy in my friend being there. It is harder to see standing here with another friend gone from my days. With them, I miss him.

I have missed the gathering this time, too and it hurts me to grieve alone. I feel like I have let my friends down, even though I know it was not something I can change. I could not be there with the ones who have been there for me.

So I try to trust there is a reason that is was right in His plan. I can not see a way that good will come from it. I have to trust it will. That which is born of God over comes the world. He knows the truth of it. May His love touch each one today to heal and fill the gap in each sore spirit.